As my slow, but steady healing continues, Theresa and I are discussing how to add simple activities back into my life. For those of you who know me well, if I’m not busy, I’ll find a way to become busy. That has not been the case the past two months. I have not been seeking out things to do, but that is beginning to change. Now, as my fatigue begins to diminish and my health slowly returns, I’ve begun to add simple activities of 20 to 40 minutes to my day.
On Thursday, I went to my sister-in-laws’ salon to have my hair cut. While some types of chemotherapy result in the patient losing their hair, that was not the case with me. I did lose my beard and spots of hair where the radiation entered my head and neck. Otherwise, my naturally thick, coarse hair was unaffected by the treatment. So after nearly ten weeks without a hair cut, it was time!
What took me by surprise was how emotional I became when I stepped into the salon. I found myself fighting back tears as these people I barely know showed concern for my health. This caused me to wonder how will I react when I see close friends from work, church or music groups?
These intense emotions first flooded over me after I was diagnosed with stage IV cancer back in November. The depth of these emotions have grown more intense as I experience your overwhelming support day after day. The preciousness of life and my appreciation of the personal relationships I have with each of you are driving this deep seeded emotion. On several occasions, I have put down a card or walked away from reading an email because my emotional response to the words of support is more than I can handle. I am truly blown away by the love and support all of you have poured out to me.
I’m sure I will work through these emotions in time, but I suspect I will forever have a deeper sensitivity and appreciation for relationships whether casual acquaintance, close friend or family. It has been truly humbling to receive the caring, loving support from so many of you these past months. Thank you.
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9 comments:
Dave, I am so happy to read about your recovery. I understand about emotions. They can be a funny thing to control. When you least expect it, they surface, but that's OK, the emotions are a true picture of who you are. As you must know, there are a lot of us around here (ACI) that care for you and are praying for you. Take care and God Bless you and your family.
Dave -- Although I haven't actually seen you in person for two or three years, I've come to realize how important our friendship is to me. I check your blog every single day -- right along with checking our family's website and the blogs published by our married daughters. I pray for you virtually daily, and I sometimes think of you several times a day. That says less about me than about you. I'm very heartened -- as are all of your friends -- by your recovery to good health. And I'm especially buoyed up by your faith and good humor. You're always the good model. I'm really looking forward to seeing you. - Rodger
I always marvel at how complex we are as human beings. Cognitive scientists report that the vast majority of our brain activity is subconscious and it has a profound influence on our behavior - despite our belief that we're in control.
I am so happy to hear that your activity is increasing and you're able to get out and about. I'm sure even the smallest of activities has become precious to you. Boy, you are going to have a very busy social calendar when you get your full strength back. I'm sure there are a lot of us that are looking forward spending a few minutes with you.
As always, let any of us know if there is something we can do for you.
"It has been truly humbling to receive the caring, loving support from so many of you these past months."
Years befor my first wife passed away.. when I was 40 years old.. we had food coming in from our church for 10 straight weeks.. I still tear up when I think about it.. it was my entrance into a humility that I had not previously known.
Like your experience Dave it was a mixed blessing of unexpected and uncomfortable emotions.. but it did produce a good result in me in that it drove a lot of pride and arrogance from my heart.. I have never been the same.
Blessings to you as you walk this difficult journey.. and thanks for sharing it with so many of us.
Bob
Hey Dave-
Heck--I got emotional just reading about you becoming emotional! No shame in watery eyes! I am so glad to hear all of the good news. And as I am sure you have heard, your words are cathartic for you but tremendously uplifting for many of us. It is a blessing for me to read them. I feel much better than I did ten minutes ago, so thanks for the lift! And I smiled reading of your application of the concept of Grace to a new truck. I can honestly say I had not looked at it that way before. And what a great gift: your new appreciation of...well...appreciation! If you have some left over when you are finished, I'll take some too. Peace.
Dave, I'm so happy to hear you are gaining weight and energy. I can imagine what a head of hair you had!...Some of that weight :)
Something tells me recovery is going to gain momentum. Most people just lay back and let recovery happen. Not you!
Keep up the progress, Dave. I'm still praying.
Dave, you are consistently in my thoughts. We miss your leadership and thought here at work, but because you helped find good people to surround yourself with, the work carries and good things are getting done. Your example of courage,persistence and reliance on God is inspiring. You are in my prayers.
Hey, Warrior in Christ ~ Keep up the good fight. We Fowlers love you and pray for your complete recovery. Don't take the tree down. WHAT?!?! We still have a Really Terrific Ornament for you... The plan is to bring it Sunday, but that WAS the plan in Dec.
Dave, you are a blessing to me, and I am so blessed to know you. You inspire and enlighten me to things I haven't even considered. I thank the Lord, for your increasing strength and your wonderful head of hair. TLB&KY, Lisa
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