Well, I’m ready now to begin a new phase – recovery! Yesterday, I had my last two radiation treatments. I’ve been warned to not expect much change for a while. However, its hard not to anticipate each additional day removed from the treatment protocol designed to destroy the cancer, and in the process my health. For each day removed from the treatment, is one more day my body will utilize its divinely inherent healing process to repair itself.
I have been told there are some functions in my oral cavity that may not return, or only partially return to normal. Possible long term side effects include functionality of salivary glands and taste buds that loose their sensitivity. The radiation doctor carefully mapped out the application and intensity of radiation to mitigate these risks, but his first priority is killing the cancer, not insuring my mouth returns to its pre-treatment state. I have sipped liquids recently and noticed that sweet liquids and water taste awful, but chicken broth was closer to normal. Time will tell how this plays out. Again, a small sacrifice to have a chance at a cancer free life.
Last week was a bit of a rollercoaster for me. On Christmas Eve, I felt good enough to travel to my mom’s home a few minutes a way. This is where we have traditionally spent Christmas Eve as a family. No one expected me to have the strength to do this, so it was a real treat for us all. On Christmas day, I went for radiation treatment in the morning. The clinic was closed but my physician and a technician came in special to make sure my last week of treatment was on protocol (Thanks again to both of you!). My wife’s family and my family came to our home on Christmas for brunch. The previous evening was pretty exhausting for me, so I ended up spending much of Christmas sleeping. Then on Wednesday evening we received a phone call from Elliott. He was very shaken as he told me he just had a bad wreck. He and his girlfriend were returning from dinner when he hit “black ice” as I-435 North crosses the Missouri river. He spun out of control and eventually came to rest with his truck facing the wrong direction pinned against the guard rail. Theresa met Elliott at the emergency room. Elliott’s girlfriend was bruised and Elliott broke his nose, but nothing too serious. His truck was totaled. We focused on the protection God provided to shift his teenage mind from the loss of his favorite material possession to the physical protection God provided. More lessons and growth ahead on this front, I’m sure. Needless to say, the emotional energy on top of the final days of treatment resulted in me sleeping a lot Thursday and Friday to fight off the fatigue.
The events of the past week reinforces my resolve to beat cancer. There is so much I still want to provide my family in the way of guidance and support. I pray for God’s healing and the privilege to serve Him for many years to come.
Thanks again for your continued cards and notes of support. They are keeping our spirits bright! Talk with you soon.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
Special Video
Merry Christmas, and to my Jewish friends a belated happy Hanukkah.
As my friends and family know, music is an important part of my life. While my formal training was primarily orchestral, I've had the time of my life playing with a very special group the past two years called Soul Focus. We formed with the primary intent of representing American Century Investments in Fortune's Battle of the Corporate Bands.
Each year, over forty bands submit a three track CD to the competition. Eighteen are chosen to perform in three regional competitions. Finally, nine bands are chosen to advance to the finals held at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, Ohio. In our first year of competition we advanced to the finals and placed third. This year we won the finals competition! For the second year in a row, Soul Focus won the Fan's Choice Award, an online poll hosted at money.cnn.com
I cannot begin to describe the strong bonds Soul Focus members have formed with each other. The character and quality of each band member is truly extraordinary. In addition to my illness, three other members have been fighting serious health conditions,too. We are no longer just about music. We have become like family in our support for each other.
The name Soul Focus was originally a play on words for our music genre and the "sole focus" our company must have to win in the marketplace. A third meaning has emerged as this group of talented musicians has forged a connection that is indeed as deep as our "souls." Here is a link to our live competition at the Rock Hall. I hope you enjoy this clip of what can be called the best corporate band in America -- American Century Investments' Soul Focus.
This is a large file, and is best viewed on broadband connections. I hope you enjoy this 15 minute set. I know Soul Focus did! ;-)
As my friends and family know, music is an important part of my life. While my formal training was primarily orchestral, I've had the time of my life playing with a very special group the past two years called Soul Focus. We formed with the primary intent of representing American Century Investments in Fortune's Battle of the Corporate Bands.
Each year, over forty bands submit a three track CD to the competition. Eighteen are chosen to perform in three regional competitions. Finally, nine bands are chosen to advance to the finals held at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, Ohio. In our first year of competition we advanced to the finals and placed third. This year we won the finals competition! For the second year in a row, Soul Focus won the Fan's Choice Award, an online poll hosted at money.cnn.com
I cannot begin to describe the strong bonds Soul Focus members have formed with each other. The character and quality of each band member is truly extraordinary. In addition to my illness, three other members have been fighting serious health conditions,too. We are no longer just about music. We have become like family in our support for each other.
The name Soul Focus was originally a play on words for our music genre and the "sole focus" our company must have to win in the marketplace. A third meaning has emerged as this group of talented musicians has forged a connection that is indeed as deep as our "souls." Here is a link to our live competition at the Rock Hall. I hope you enjoy this clip of what can be called the best corporate band in America -- American Century Investments' Soul Focus.
This is a large file, and is best viewed on broadband connections. I hope you enjoy this 15 minute set. I know Soul Focus did! ;-)
Friday, December 21, 2007
Five weeks down!
Within a few hours, I will have my last radiation treatment for this week. That marks five weeks down and one to go! Yes, I see the light at the end of the treatment tunnel, and eagerly anticipate next Friday afternoon. My challenge over the next few weeks will be managing the blistering and damage the radiation is doing to my mouth and throat.
Earlier this week, I noted a concern with my weight and the ability to establish a good nutritional routine. As the nausea from the December 10th chemo treatment began to wane this week, it became easier for me to keep my food down and halt my weight loss. Yesterday, I was able to achieve 2000 calories for the first time in ten days. (At its worst, I was able to achieve only 600 calories over three days.) I believe I’m now on the right track to slowly, but surely add a few pounds each week.
I’ve always been a believer in the power of goal setting. While they seem trivial, even small goals like increasing nutritional intake by one can of liquid food per day, or doing what is necessary to make every radiation treatment help maintain a positive spirit and attitude. In fact, its when our physical and mental capacity are the lowest that our goals should be the most achievable. This increases odds of success, which further builds our confidence to overcome the next, more difficult hurdle.
Another observation I’ve had over the past few days is how relative assessment of one’s physical well-being can be. Its no secret chemo affected my body in a way I was not able to easily tolerate. As the intense nausea and fatigue began to subside earlier this week, I commented to Theresa how I felt a thousand times better. Since it was nice out, she suggested I walk outside to get the mail. While I indeed felt remarkably better, the effort to get the mail quickly reminded me of just how far I still have to return to normal strength. I’m confident I will continue to get stronger, but I’m a bit further away than my relative improvement in physical condition led me to believe.
Talk with you soon. I hope to have a little treat in my next post.
Earlier this week, I noted a concern with my weight and the ability to establish a good nutritional routine. As the nausea from the December 10th chemo treatment began to wane this week, it became easier for me to keep my food down and halt my weight loss. Yesterday, I was able to achieve 2000 calories for the first time in ten days. (At its worst, I was able to achieve only 600 calories over three days.) I believe I’m now on the right track to slowly, but surely add a few pounds each week.
I’ve always been a believer in the power of goal setting. While they seem trivial, even small goals like increasing nutritional intake by one can of liquid food per day, or doing what is necessary to make every radiation treatment help maintain a positive spirit and attitude. In fact, its when our physical and mental capacity are the lowest that our goals should be the most achievable. This increases odds of success, which further builds our confidence to overcome the next, more difficult hurdle.
Another observation I’ve had over the past few days is how relative assessment of one’s physical well-being can be. Its no secret chemo affected my body in a way I was not able to easily tolerate. As the intense nausea and fatigue began to subside earlier this week, I commented to Theresa how I felt a thousand times better. Since it was nice out, she suggested I walk outside to get the mail. While I indeed felt remarkably better, the effort to get the mail quickly reminded me of just how far I still have to return to normal strength. I’m confident I will continue to get stronger, but I’m a bit further away than my relative improvement in physical condition led me to believe.
Talk with you soon. I hope to have a little treat in my next post.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Fighting Back from Chemo Round 2
Just like round one of chemo, round two was a challenge to endure days four through seven. Recovery was a bit slower in round two, but now eight days out, I’m turning the corner and beginning to put the intense nausea behind me. I keep telling myself, this is a small price to pay for the potential benefits of a cancer free life.
The picture is a day or so after I received the chemo treatment. As you can tell by my smile, its also before the power of the chemo put its grip on by body. But, I thought you would all get a smile out of me in my bed, on my laptop, connected to the hospital Wi-Fi just being “Dave.”
The lead doctor is encouraged by my progress. While I’m beat up physically, there continue to be signs my body is responding as intended to the treatment protocol. Apparently, not everyone makes it as far through the protocol as I have already come.
A key concern at this point is my weight. I’m now about 117 lbs, a weight I’ve not experienced since junior high school, and 25 pounds less than my weight in May of this year. To give me the best chance of halting this slide in my weight, I’m now on a continuous pump feeding through my PEG tube. The doctor says there are more aggressive steps that can be taken if this approach does not halt my weight loss. Theresa and I are very focused on doing what we can to get this under control now, not later. We would appreciate your prayers regarding this matter.
In closing, I would again like to thank all of you for the support you are proving me through this journey. I want you to know Theresa is there on the front lines getting me through many a tough hour. She has been a caregiver extraordinaire twenty-four hours a day, seven-days a week. The toughness she has drawn on to achieve what she has in music, business and life has come through in flying colors as she constantly lifts me up physically, spiritually and emotionally. Words cannot begin to describe the intense appreciation I have for my lovely wife and the phenomenal support she is providing me. And, in times when she can’t help, so many of you have stepped in… my mom, the Riga’s, and so many other giving individuals. And, the cards, emails and notes with words of encouragement, levity, and spiritual insight each of you have sent are a source of strength for us. Keep the prayers and positive thoughts coming. We are doing what we can to beat this cancer so we have many years ahead to serve our Lord Jesus Christ on this earth.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Good News Week Four
Week three of treatment opened with some good news. The main tumor is no longer referring pain up through the ear, and pain from this tumor overall has declined. This along with the return of the resonance in my voice is mounting circumstantial evidence the main tumor is shrinking. The secondary tumor in my lymph node has noticeably flattened and shrunk in size over the past week. The radiologist is pleased with the results over the first three weeks of treatment.
After an 8:00 AM Monday morning visit to the radiologist, I was admitted for in patient chemotherapy. For the past 50 hours or so I’ve received high doses of anti-nausea drugs and slept round the clock. If I continue on my current path, I will be released to return home from the hospital on Thursday. I continued daily radiation this week through the chemo treatment and recovery period.
I was concerned on how well I would weather this round of chemo given the difficulty I had with the first round. Thanks to God’s hand, your prayers and support, a great medical team, and a experience from the first round, this round of chemo is tough, but much better than the first.
The next physical challenges ahead include working through the rest of this round of chemo, and managing the mouth and throat pain from the radiation. As the radiation does what needs to be done to the cancerous tissue, it also adversely affects the healthy tissue of the mouth. This results in scaring, sores, flaking off of skin inside and outside of the throat area, etc. I’m told this will peak through the end of treatment on December 28th. Then the rate of healing from patient-to-patient can vary widely from a few months to the better part of a year.
I’m going back to sleep now. I’ll post again in a few days. Keep your prayers, thoughts and positive comments coming. Each day is one day closer to a victory!
After an 8:00 AM Monday morning visit to the radiologist, I was admitted for in patient chemotherapy. For the past 50 hours or so I’ve received high doses of anti-nausea drugs and slept round the clock. If I continue on my current path, I will be released to return home from the hospital on Thursday. I continued daily radiation this week through the chemo treatment and recovery period.
I was concerned on how well I would weather this round of chemo given the difficulty I had with the first round. Thanks to God’s hand, your prayers and support, a great medical team, and a experience from the first round, this round of chemo is tough, but much better than the first.
The next physical challenges ahead include working through the rest of this round of chemo, and managing the mouth and throat pain from the radiation. As the radiation does what needs to be done to the cancerous tissue, it also adversely affects the healthy tissue of the mouth. This results in scaring, sores, flaking off of skin inside and outside of the throat area, etc. I’m told this will peak through the end of treatment on December 28th. Then the rate of healing from patient-to-patient can vary widely from a few months to the better part of a year.
I’m going back to sleep now. I’ll post again in a few days. Keep your prayers, thoughts and positive comments coming. Each day is one day closer to a victory!
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Treatment Protocol 50% Complete
This past Friday marked the half way point for my treatments. I’m told the side effects will increase until I either cry uncle, or the treatment protocol ends on December 28th. I plan on enduring the treatments with everything I’ve got so the chemo and radiation have a maximum chance of winning in the removal of this ugly disease.
I’m reminded of a 20-kilometer race when I was seventeen. I developed stomach cramps two laps into this 50 lap race. I trained too hard to step off the track, so I relaxed and took deep belly breaths for the next few laps. Finally, about two miles into the race, the cramps subsided and I was able to work my way back to my scheduled race splits and earn the right to compete in the senior men’s class-B national title race in Chicago that fall. I was fortunate to win that Chicago race for my first of two senior men’s racewalk titles during my senior year in high school. That same attitude of refusing to quit is what I’ll draw on over the next few weeks. After all, this is not as trite as an athletic competition, this is my life.
I’ve been absolutely overwhelmed by the volume of cards, emails, blog posts and more importantly the meaningful words of encouragement and laughter so many of you have provided me the past few weeks. They have made an deep impression on me. From so many corners of my life, I’ve heard from friends current and from my past. Its truly hard for me to grasp the outpouring of support. My thanks to each of you! Having never been seriously ill, or even sick for more that a day or two, I never fully appreciated the importance of reaching out in even the smallest way to encourage the sick. It sounds silly, but this is one of the many lessons I will take away from this experience.
On a lighter note, I have been keeping a spreadsheet to detail what are now important events in my daily life. (Yes, I'm sleeping with my laptop computer.) I monitor the volume of water, liquid food, body temperature, medicines and other bodily functions, complete with daily summaries. While I’ve set goals, I’ve learned there is no overriding the effects of the cancer treatments. I may ingest the amount of food I need to gain weight, but that does not mean my body will keep it. So, while I’m still focused on moving in the right direction, I’ve become a bit more patient with what my body will or will not allow me to do.
I’ll do my best to return to my earlier pace of posting to this blog. This past week I had little time where I was awake and feeling well enough to write. I enter the hospital Monday morning for chemo, and they plan for me to stay at least two days. Hopefully this will help me handle this round of chemo better than the last. Talk with you soon my friends.
I’m reminded of a 20-kilometer race when I was seventeen. I developed stomach cramps two laps into this 50 lap race. I trained too hard to step off the track, so I relaxed and took deep belly breaths for the next few laps. Finally, about two miles into the race, the cramps subsided and I was able to work my way back to my scheduled race splits and earn the right to compete in the senior men’s class-B national title race in Chicago that fall. I was fortunate to win that Chicago race for my first of two senior men’s racewalk titles during my senior year in high school. That same attitude of refusing to quit is what I’ll draw on over the next few weeks. After all, this is not as trite as an athletic competition, this is my life.
I’ve been absolutely overwhelmed by the volume of cards, emails, blog posts and more importantly the meaningful words of encouragement and laughter so many of you have provided me the past few weeks. They have made an deep impression on me. From so many corners of my life, I’ve heard from friends current and from my past. Its truly hard for me to grasp the outpouring of support. My thanks to each of you! Having never been seriously ill, or even sick for more that a day or two, I never fully appreciated the importance of reaching out in even the smallest way to encourage the sick. It sounds silly, but this is one of the many lessons I will take away from this experience.
On a lighter note, I have been keeping a spreadsheet to detail what are now important events in my daily life. (Yes, I'm sleeping with my laptop computer.) I monitor the volume of water, liquid food, body temperature, medicines and other bodily functions, complete with daily summaries. While I’ve set goals, I’ve learned there is no overriding the effects of the cancer treatments. I may ingest the amount of food I need to gain weight, but that does not mean my body will keep it. So, while I’m still focused on moving in the right direction, I’ve become a bit more patient with what my body will or will not allow me to do.
I’ll do my best to return to my earlier pace of posting to this blog. This past week I had little time where I was awake and feeling well enough to write. I enter the hospital Monday morning for chemo, and they plan for me to stay at least two days. Hopefully this will help me handle this round of chemo better than the last. Talk with you soon my friends.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Two Weeks Down
Last Friday marked one-third completion of my treatments. The two rounds of radiation on Friday really sapped me over the weekend. I slept a lot. I did not realize the physical stress radiation puts on a cancer patients. When I sleep long and hard after radiation, I also have bizarre, unsettling dreams. I'm thankful for Theresa who is there to just listen and talk. She always helps to put the unsettled feeling behind me.
Whenever we face a trial or challenge in life, it is an opportunity for growth. I'm actively searching for both personal and family growth opportunities that may come out of my battle with cancer. My hope and prayer is for my family to draw closer together and deepen our appreciation for each other.
It may sound trite, but I've spent a lot of time lately thinking about all I appreciate about life and my family both big and small. I've always known these things on a conscious level, but sometimes it takes a significant event in ones life to trigger realization of the full perspective and ramifications of life.
Since childhood I’ve been good at learning life lessons vicariously. My parents pointed out how vices negatively affected peoples lives, and on the positive side how successful individuals set goals and used self-discipline to get ahead. I saw the evidence, and generally followed these examples, positive or negative.
As an adult I continued this pattern of actively observing and learning from others around me. I learned leadership and workplace skills by observing and applying, or in some cases rejecting examples of my peers and mentors. This cancer trial, is experiential for me. I pray those reading this blog will gain vicarious knowledge through my cancer experience.
I don't know what the end of this challenge will be, but I am looking at this trial as a way for me to grow in all dimensions of my life. I admire the elderly person who is spry and has a spring in their step. They have made conscious choices to continue learning, growing and maintaining a positive attitude. I look forward to developing the character that will allow me to be that spry, motivating elderly individual someday, too. I'm sure this fight with cancer will be a key growth opportunity to help get me there. I pray my memory of these lessons are long, and my application is good. This is one life lesson I prefer to not repeat. ;-)
Whenever we face a trial or challenge in life, it is an opportunity for growth. I'm actively searching for both personal and family growth opportunities that may come out of my battle with cancer. My hope and prayer is for my family to draw closer together and deepen our appreciation for each other.
It may sound trite, but I've spent a lot of time lately thinking about all I appreciate about life and my family both big and small. I've always known these things on a conscious level, but sometimes it takes a significant event in ones life to trigger realization of the full perspective and ramifications of life.
Since childhood I’ve been good at learning life lessons vicariously. My parents pointed out how vices negatively affected peoples lives, and on the positive side how successful individuals set goals and used self-discipline to get ahead. I saw the evidence, and generally followed these examples, positive or negative.
As an adult I continued this pattern of actively observing and learning from others around me. I learned leadership and workplace skills by observing and applying, or in some cases rejecting examples of my peers and mentors. This cancer trial, is experiential for me. I pray those reading this blog will gain vicarious knowledge through my cancer experience.
I don't know what the end of this challenge will be, but I am looking at this trial as a way for me to grow in all dimensions of my life. I admire the elderly person who is spry and has a spring in their step. They have made conscious choices to continue learning, growing and maintaining a positive attitude. I look forward to developing the character that will allow me to be that spry, motivating elderly individual someday, too. I'm sure this fight with cancer will be a key growth opportunity to help get me there. I pray my memory of these lessons are long, and my application is good. This is one life lesson I prefer to not repeat. ;-)
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